[music playing]
[snores]
[screaming]
I'm sorry.
- I'm hit. - I'm blind.
Buffy.
[crash]
[screaming]
Amber.
I knew this day would come.
Still, she had to go sometime.
[music playing]
I met this girl when I wastraveling whose dad had to go
to war, but he was crippled.
And so because she wasn't whather parents wanted, I mean,
not that Amber wasn't whatyou wanted, but you know,
she was different.
Like, a tomboy.
So she stole her dad's armorand went to war instead of him
and then they won the war because of her.
That's Mulan.
Mulan, yes, that's her name.Do you know her?
It's a Disney film.
Yes.
Yeah, and there's a song init, which is about how she
wants to look in the mirror and [SINGING]
see her real reflection.
[SPEAKING] I think that's probably
a bit how Amber's feeling.
Not Mulan?
Yeah.
Eddie Murphy does the voice of the dragon.
Certainly to my mind his third best film.
Does anyone want a drink?
A bit early for that, isn't it?
Yeah, go on then.
I was thinking more like a tea.
You worried about Amber?
Nah.
She got three languages and a [inaudible]..
She'll be fine.
Cheers.
You are so blind.
You so do not understand.
You weren't there at the beginning.
You don't know how good it was, how important.
This is it for you, this jumped up firework
display of a toy advert.
People like you make me sick.
What's wrong with you?
Now, I don't care if you'vesaved up all your 50 peas, OK?
Take your pocket money and get out!
[crying]
What a prick.
Tim, can I have a word with you in my office?
Yes.
Have a seat, Tim.
Trinklet?
I'd better not.
I was like you once.
Blond hair, scraggly little beard,
childlike ears, full of beans and spunk.
I let my principals get in the way sometimes.
I punched a bloke in the face once for saying
"Hort the Slayer" was rubbish.
Good for you.
Thanks, but that's not the point, Tim.
The point is, I wasdefending the fantasy genre
with terminal intensitywhen what I should have said
was, Dad, you're right.
But let's give Krull a tryand we'll discuss it later.
"The Phantom Menace" was 18 months ago, Tim.
I know, Bilbo, it just, it still hurts.
You know, that kid wanted a Jar Jar doll.
- Kids like Jar Jar. - Why?
What about the Ewoks?
They were rubbish.
You don't complain about them.
Yeah, but Jar Jar Binks makes the Ewoks
look like fucking Shaft.
- I've had enough, Tim. - But Bilbo--
I know how you feel.
I really do.
But this can't go on.
What are you trying to say, Bilbo?
I'm going to have to let you go.
Phew.
[laughing] Ah.
I thought you were going to fire me then.
[laughing] I was like, eh.
Phew.
Look at that.
[crying]
Right, Daisy, I'm off to work.
I should be back in a couple of hours.
Mike?
Have you got any money?
Oh, if you mean actual currency, no.
I was sure that I had some, but it
just seems to have just gone.
I should, you know, get off.
You didn't sort of borrow it?
You know, kind of just go through my pockets?
Steal it?
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
God, that sounded really bad.
Did you steal it?
- No. - Sorry.
No, you're right.
You're right.
Just have a nice day.
Yeah, thanks.
Mike, what do you do?
I've never asked you.
If I tell you that I'll have to kill you.
What, is it, like, a secret?
No.
Hi, Brian.
Gone.
What's gone.
I can't paint.
Yes, you can, Brian.
You're very good.
Mind's just blank.
I haven't painted anything in months.
I don't know what's wrong.
Well, maybe you should try approaching
the canvas in different ways.
I have.
[music playing]
[groaning]
How do you tackle a creative block, Daisy?
Well, I'm actually very, very fortunate.
I rarely suffer from writer's block.
I'm extremely prolific.
You're very lucky.
Yeah, I know.
Um, have you got any money, Brian?
It's just I've got to go and sign on today
and I can't afford the bus fare.
Can't you go to the bank?
Please, just a tenner?
I haven't got a bank account.
I closed it.
I'm really, really worried.
I haven't signed on for threemonths and I didn't tell them
I was going away.
I'm sure you'll be all right, Daisy.
You know, they're reasonable people.
Please, just a tenner?
Tim?
[screaming]
Is everything all right?
Yes!
Why?
No reason.
I lost my job.
What?
Why?
Not "Phantom Menace?"
Got to go.
All right, Brian.
Good luck with your blockage.
Oh, oh, there's a letter come for you.
Thanks.
Sorry about your job, Tim.
Yeah, I'm sorry about your uncle, Brian.
Come on, mate.
It's not as if he hasn't fired you before.
And he's a reasonable bloke.
I'm sure if you just went and talked to him
you could sort it out.
I don't think so, Daisy.
He said he had somebodycoming in for an interview
this afternoon.
Well, one thing's forsure, he'll be no Tim Bisley.
Well, it all seems to be in order.
When can you start?
Come on, Tim.
There'll be other jobs.
I mean, what about your comic?
You know, I'm sure the comicindustry is desperately
in need of a giant, you know, mutant bear
with [growling] special claws.
[laughing] You just got to get out there.
Yeah, well, I'm scared.
Of what?
[laughing]
Nothing.
Come on.
I was about to go sign on.
Why don't you come with me?
OK.
Why don't you lend me the bus fare?
OK.
Yeah.
You have got a veryspecial talent, Tim Bisley.
Sooner or later it's goingto make you a lot of money.
Yeah, thanks, Daisy.
I just, wish I had anotherspecial talent to fall back on.
[music playing]
WOMAN [VOICEOVER]: Dear Brian, Ihope this letter finds you well
and that you are not findingbeing a lawyer too stressful.
Sadly, I'm writing with bad news.
Your Uncle Kevin died in his sleep
last weekend whilst drivingto Staines on the M4.
We hope you can find timein your busy schedule
to come to the funeral, which is next Thursday.
Lots of love, Mom.
[groaning]
[music playing]
Oh, fine.What are you going to say?
I'm just going to tell themI was ill and start crying.
Look, that's you. New claims.
- Where? - There.
Oh, yeah.
OK.
Good luck.
Yeah, you too.
I'm Daisy Steiner.
I had an appointment at 10:30.
I'm late.
Daisy Steiner, you need totake an AB form from the stand
and then join the queue.
How long will I have to wait?
I'm sorry, I don't understand.
Just fill out the form.
How long have you been unemployed, Mr. Bisley?
About an hour and a half.
Have you been looking for work?
[laughing]
No.
Why did you leave your last job?
I got fired.
Why?
A difference of opinion.
"The Phantom Menace."
Yeah.
Didn't you like it?
No.
Well, leave this with me.
I'll get you some moneyout in the next few days.
[phone ringing]
Hello?
Brian, it's me.
Hello, me.
How are you?
Very well, thank you.
I miss you.
I miss me, too.
Would you like to come out for drinks later?
Yes, please.
Then I could come and stay at yours.
I don't have to work tomorrow.
We can stay in bed all day.
[laughs]
So don't forget to wash your sheets.
Right.
And your penis.
OK.
Bye.
[music playing]
Uh, no, no.
This is the Ab form.
You need the AB form.
Capital B.
What?
I've been here for over an hour.
Just over there on the stand.
Is this it?
OK, you want to sign on again.
Right, you last signed on three months ago.
What have you been doingfor the last three months?
I've been ill.
[crying]
Do you have a doctor's note?
No.
I lost it.
Look, this shouldn't be a problem.
I just, I just want some money.
You've always given me money before.
You sure you haven't beenon holiday, or something?
Me? God, no.
I couldn't afford that.
Not on my income.
[non-english speech]
Bastard. - What can I say?
She liked me.
What am I going to do?
I've got to pay the rent.
Just write some articles.
It's not actually as easy as that, Tim.
I can't just pluck another winter skincare
do's and don'ts out of the air.
Why?
Yeah, well, maybepoverty will inspire you.
Look, it's not as bad as all that, all right?
Mike's giving us a few quid every week.
But what if he wants to move out?
Yeah, well, he doesn't at the moment.
You know, he's happy.
Besides, it's not as if he'sgoing to get better by the time
we get back, is it?
Eh?
[whistling]
[music playing]
Mike, do you mind if we-- what are you doing?
Well, Marcia has finally offered me
the position of lodger, whichI'll have duly accepted.
- But Mike-- - No, no, no.
You've been kind enough to letme stay, but now you're back,
Daisy, I think it's onlyright I should be moving on.
Yeah, but we like having you here, Mike.
It'll be fine, Tim.
I'm only upstairs.
We can see each other every day.
We'll be able to legitimately use
our walkie talkies withouthaving to go to the park.
Ready then, Mark.
I will be with you in one second, Mrs. K.
There he is now, my new lodger.
Just as well.
I never see the other one.
Yeah.
Brian's spending a lot of time with Twist.
I mean, I hardly see her.
I sometimes hear her.
[screaming]
Yeah, he was up earlier on.
I think he's having some kind of creative crisis.
Serves him right for gettinghis knackers in a twist.
Come then, Mark.
I'm looking forward tohaving a big, strong bloke
around the house.
Who's that?
You, you pellock.
Oh.
Oh, he's funny, isn't he?
Any thoughts?
Well, I've got to get some newbatteries for my walkie talkie.
No, about our situation.
We're both unemployed.
I'm getting no benefit.
We need money.
How else am I going to affordaspirational magazines?
I'm going to get a job.
Why?
You just signed on, you don't have to.
I like working, Daisy.
You know, the smell of the ink, you know,
the taste of the biscuit.
Giving the little ones adviceon their latest purchase.
[VOICEOVER] People like you make me sick.
[CRYING]
Yeah, well, so do I, love working.
Yeah, I was a barmaid onceand I loved it, you know.
The hustle and bustle of a busy bar.
Can get some service, please?
Fuck you.
What can I say?
You know, we are good with people.
Absolutely.
And that's what writers do, isn't it?
You know, they take unrelatedjobs in order to make
money and gain experience.
Now, I temped in this office once
and, you know, there were somegreat characters, you know,
real fodder.
There was this guy, Tony.
[LAUGHING] Oh, what did he say?
Anyway, anyway, that, that's,that's what I'm going to do.
Well, you know,everyone does things they
don't want to do sometimes.
You know, Mike isn't reallydoing what he wants to do,
but he just makes the best of it.
- Does he? - Move!
Move!
[SCREAMING]
Move!
Don't look at me!
Move!
Well, I am going to go toone of those temping places
and put my name down for a job.
That's the spoon, Daisy.
New horizons.
Pastures green.
Change.
And not the small kind.
[LAUGHING]
Why is that funny?
I don't know.
You worked in a coffee shop before?
Yeah, the Fantasy Bizarre.
Fantasy Bizarre.
That's Bilbo Bagshot's shop, isn't it?
Yeah.
Why'd you leave?
A difference of opinion.
"Phantom Menace?"
Well, yeah, and I wanted a change.
OK.
When can you start?
- I'm sorry? - When can you start?
So, what kind of work can you do?
Sorry?
What kind of work can you do?
Well, I'm creative.
But you know, I'm at home inthe normal office environment.
But equally comfortable, you know, in the hustle
and bustle of an eatery.
So that's anything then?
Yes, yes, anything.
I'm desperate.
[knocking]
Everything all right?
Oh, yes, thank you, Mrs. K.
Well, give us a shout if you need anything.
OK.
Anything at all.
OK, then.
I like to think I'm an approachable landlady.
OK, then.
That's great.
So anything you want, just ask.
Is there a key to this lock?
Hello, Brian.
Hello.
Aren't you going to invite me in?
Bit busy.
Doing what?
Nice to see you've tidied up a bit.
Thanks.
Daisy was telling meyou're feeling a little dry.
Everything OK?
Mm-hm.
Yeah?
Don't know, Marcia.
Can't seem to get inspired.
It used to come so easily.
Thought I'd cracked it this morning.
I got a letter saying Uncle Kevin had died,
next thing I knew I was painting, couldn't stop.
Just gone and lost it.
Just went.
You know what your problem is, Brian?
What?
You're happy.
I think you'll find you dried up the minute
you started seeing Twit.
You think so?
Well, it's obvious, isn't it.
You cannot have your cake and eat her, Brian.
Contentment is the enemy of invention.
Oh, my god.
Funny, isn't it?
You were so prolific when we was at it.
This is awful.
Isn't it?
What a dilemma.
I can't believe this.
You're so depressing, Brian.
You must really worried.
Yeah.
Angst ridden.
Yes.
Inconsolable.
Yes.
Right, I'm off.
Mike's cooking beans, thenwe're going to polish his guns
and watch the A-Team.
Bye.
Oh.
[music playing]
I love it when a plan comes together.
[phone ringing]
Hello, Silent Reading?
Yes, we do stock Jar Jar Binks merchandise.
Yeah, we've got him in cuddly form lunchbox
action figure and keyring.
No problem.
Bye-bye.
Well done, Tim.
You've just taken your firststep into a larger world.
All right, Derek.
Bilbo.
I was wondering if Icould have a chat with Tim.
Certainly.
I'll put some tea on.
What a cup, Tim.
Yes, please.
He's mounted his collector's editions
behind the counter in full view, not hide them
away at the back of the shop.
The man's insane.
What do you talk to me about, Bilbo?
So, how's it going?
Yes, all right.
What's Derek like as a boss?
He's OK.
I don't really agree with his policy
on vintage comic display.
Look Tim, I'm sorry I sacked you, all right?
It was a mistake.
What?
Things not working with the new guy?
You could say that.
"Hort the Slayer" is rubbish.
I see.
Will you come back?
Well, I like it here, Bilbo.
What makes you think I want to come back?
This.
[RECORDED] Bilbo, this is Tim.
Please can I come back?
I don't like it here.
You got that, did you?
Tim, I would have come in anyway.
The place is just not thesame without you there.
I'm already there.
What?
I mean, I'll come back.
Oh, you frightened me for a bit there.
I'll have to give my notice here then.
Can you just get fired?
Derek?
"Babylon 5's" a big pile of shit.
Get out.
Yeah.
[music playing]
Yeah.
I got me job back.
Hey.
I got me own room.
Hey.
How's Brian doing?
He's standing in thegarden with no clothes on.
Hey.
What about Daisy?
She got a job in a bookshop.
Think she'll be all right?
Um, yeah.
Hey.
Excuse me.
Can you point me in thedirection of personal growth?
Fuck you.
NARRATOR: S'il vous plait.